You are three weeks old and have already changed so much since the day you were born. You are growing like crazy, which also means you are eating all.the.time. I can’t complain, I am so grateful that we are getting the hang of this whole breastfeeding thing. I never felt like we were in a newborn haze, but this week I felt more comfortable. More comfortable as your mama, more comfortable physically, mentally and emotionally. There are times Eloise that feeding you feels exhausting and like I can’t possibly feed you again because you had just finished eating not to long before, but just when I think I have nothing left, I look at your sweet face and I am ready again. The tears still happen sporadically and over the silliest of things, mostly whenever we talk about your dad starting work full time, or me going back to work, but I think the hormones are starting to level out a bit.
You are still wearing newborn clothes and diapers, but they are getting tight and I think we might be headed into 0-3 clothes soon, right now they swallow you up, so we will stay with newborn a bit longer. It makes my mama heart a little sad to know you are already leaving the newborn clothes, but I also love how you are growing! You do not like this heat wave that we have gotten, we spend more time upstairs in the AC than anywhere else lately because we both can’t take the humidity. Hopefully Fall will be here soon.
You have become so much more aware this week, making eye contact, following your dad and I around, looking at the black and white toys above your swing, and being awake for longer periods of time. Nights have gotten easier, I am learning to function on a lot less sleep, you are sleeping for longer periods of time, but you like to also stay awake longer after night feedings. You are very vocal when you eat and like to look up at me every now and then, almost as if you are checking to make sure I haven’t gone anywhere. You always have to have a hand touching my skin while you eat or holding on to my shirt in some way. You don’t love tummy time, but you can hold your head up strong. Self soothing is something we are working on, you do like to suck on your hands, you hate the pacifier, and you much prefer to use us for soothing.
We are finding our rhythm more and more every day. When your dad went to work on Thursday we laid on the floor reading books, you stared at my face and flailed those arms in the air. I looked at you and cried a few tears, but not tears of exhaustion or frustration, tears of joy. Tears of joy because you are all mine, because I get to help you and watch your grow. Tears of joy because I don’t feel so overwhelmed anymore, I feel like your dad and I can do this whole parenting thing.
I love you sweet girl.