Dear Eloise // Week 5

Dear Eloise,

I know weekly letters seems kind of crazy and that if you ever read all of these at one time you are probably going to think I am crazy (I mean my emotions change about 50x a day). You are 5 weeks old and it was the first week that your dad was back at work full time, I would be lying if I said it was easy. It wasn’t easy, but we have friends and family that have made it so much easier. We miss your dad and your mama is exhausted, but we survived the week and I see it getting easier and easier each week, we are slowly finding our groove (I think). I am not sure that we will ever find it completely because if there is one thing I have learned since you came into this world, it is, that as soon as I think we get into a groove the next day is completely different. So we continue to just take it one day at a time, one hour at a time, really.

Your mama is not great at relaxing and just being, I am working on it and I hope that I don’t pass this trait on to you. Just sitting and being is healthy and good for you, remember that. I am trying to remember that taking care of you is doing “something” and it is really hard somedays. Somedays you cry and I try all my tricks, but you still cry (we’ve recently learned that when you have really bad gas, nothing can make it better, which kills me). I have done a lot of TV watching, reading and just sitting and staring at you. I could stare at your sweet face all day. I am starting to get the hang of doing a little more with one hand since you don’t love when I put you down, and I am completely okay with that, I know I won’t be able to hold and snuggle you forever.

You went to the doctor this week and you are 9lbs 14oz and are 21 3/4 inches. I cannot believe it, you have grown and changed so much over these 5 weeks. Your cheeks are getting chubbier and you have little arm rolls, which just make my mama heart melt. Growing means that I am doing my job to feed you. I have about 1,000 feelings on breastfeeding and feeding you in general. I love that its time with just you my sweet girl, a time we get to bond. My feelings change day to day with it, one day I think we have it down with a perfect latch and minimal pain, and the next day you decided to cluster feed which means my nipples get so chapped and painful. We keep working on it and getting better with it, you have patience with me and continue to grow which is all that matters.

You are so alert now and my favorite is in the mornings after we wake up for the day and I feed you, you stay awake for an hour sometimes longer and we do tummy time, read books, or just stare at each other while I make faces and talk in a high pitched voice to you, hoping to crack a smile. Your facial expressions bring me so much joy, and you probably think I am crazy for how many photos I take of you- I just never want to forget all your expressions and how each little feature on you looks, because you change so much each week. You know our faces, I am sure of it and you track us as we move around the room. You have been better in the car, not hating the car seat as much, as long as we are not in the car too long.

Eloise, my sweet girl we are on quite the ride and it is the most wonderful adventure. I am so happy that we get to go on this adventure together. You, me and your dad. We make quite the trio and I hope you know how much we love and adore you.

Love always,
your mama

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