Advice can be the hardest thing to take sometimes. Growing up there was advice I took to heart and advice I completely brushed off because I had my own idea and way of thinking. But looking back on it, there were always bits & pieces of the advice being given that helped or at least had me thinking about the endless possibilities.
Advice for you,
1. Life is easier if you learn to react better.
Think about all the situations throughout one day you have a reaction to. My morning starts by an alarm clock, I can choose to react cranky toward my phone and hit the snooze button, or I can react to it with the mindset that today is a new fresh day and I am lucky to be alive. Think about how you react and do your best to find happiness or positivity in the situation. Sure do I love coming home to a sink full of dishes after a long day at work and my husband has been off all day? No, and I react poorly to it 80% of the time, but it gets me nowhere other than into an argument. So I am making an effort to react better to the situation, and it helps, trust me.
2. Marriage is not a fairytale.
Marriage is hard work, like really hard work. There will be days where you want to run away to a desert island and escape for a bit, but there will be days when your husband walks through the door and those butterflies you got on your wedding day come to life again. It is not roses and back rubs, it is compromises and communication. It is doing something you may not want to do, because he really wants you to. It is knowing that you have someone for the good and bad parts of life. Its growing together, it is being a cheerleader for the other persons dreams, and it is completely 100% worth the hard work.
3. It is not the number of friends you have, but the quality and relationship with them that is important.
When I was in elementary, middle and high school I had a good amount of friends. As the years have passed I have grown apart from a lot of them and found others along the way. I have met friends who I was close with for a year or so and then we drifted apart, it happens because life happens. You know what I learned though? What my mom tried to tell me growing up? It is now about the number, it is about the ones who will always be by your side, the ones who will cry with you, laugh with you, bring you soup when your sick, or wine when you’ve had a long day. The ones who send you texts and emails to check in. It has taken time, but at this stage in my life I know who my friends are and who love me to no end. I don’t need the ones in my life who are flaky and only care about themselves, and neither do you!
4. Taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of others.
You guys I think I just started realizing how important this one is. How can we expect to be the best version of ourselves and take care of the ones we love if we are a hot mess? If I don’t take care of myself I get cranky and snappy, just ask my husband. I need alone time, sometime 10 minutes does the trick and sometimes I need a day to myself. I love spending time with friends, family and husband, but there are times when I need to walk around Target aimlessly by myself or grab a book and curl up on the couch, it is good for my soul. When I take care of myself, I end up taking care of others around me much better.
5. Taking a mental health day is completely acceptable.
My mom taught me this when I was younger. Every now and then in middle school or high school she would let me skip a day and she would call it a ‘mental health’ day. We go through life at such a high speed and we pack our schedules to the brim, and sometimes we need to slow dow, step back from the chaos and just breathe. I know when I am at my breaking point, I know when I am about to lose it, and thats when I know I need a break. One day where I get to do whatever I want to recuperate from life. Thanks for teaching my this mom, I’m less crazy because of you!